14 Items That Need Better Names

by Elana

Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Why do we call anything by its name when there are such better ways to say things, and better names out there that live up to the idea of the product better? Well, we have a whole list of random things that need better names and we have found replacement names for these random things. It's kind of like a makeover but it's both amusing and functional. In fact, I propose that we all begin to use these new and improved names, whether they make us laugh or not.

1. Sparkle Carrot

Less deadly sounding than icicle.
1. Sparkle Carrot

2. Yeah, dude.

Boatercycle sounds legit.
2. Yeah, dude.
via: BWJSR

3. Raw toast

Because nobody eats bread without toasting it anymore.
3. Raw toast

4. Milk?

More like cereal water, because for most of us, that's all it ever is.
4. Milk?
via: MNT

5. Oven Glove takes too long to say

Problem solved: glovens.
5. Oven Glove takes too long to say

6. Never, ever pass up an opportunity to rhyme.

Why call it a stupid life jacket when we could enter rhyme time and call it a float coat?
6. Never, ever pass up an opportunity to rhyme.

7. This makes perfect sense

Why we haven't been doing this all along is a mystery.
7. This makes perfect sense

8. Electric Hose

This would be easier to remember.
8. Electric Hose
via: Amazon

9. Ok, we're not sold on this one.

Flashlight seems a lot easier to say.
9. Ok, we're not sold on this one.

10. Mute Button, Mouth Cork

As long as it shuts them up.
10. Mute Button, Mouth Cork

11. Straws...

More like suck sticks. HA!
11. Straws...
via: IVN

12. Facial Tissue sounded dumb anyway

Sneeze paper is more appropriate
12. Facial Tissue sounded dumb anyway

13. Grass?

No, that's stupid. It's Earth Fur now.
13. Grass?

14. Light as a feather?

It's a leaf. A bird leaf.
14. Light as a feather?

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