Unfortunately, a lot of guys nowadays simply can't take a hint and naturally, they choose to keep persisting which makes things extremely creepy and especially desperate. We've been taught since birth to chase after what we want, but that doesn't really apply to this case, because once another human being decides to reject you, that should be enough to tell you that they're not and will never be interested in you, and anything you do beyond that point will only make you look like a huge creep.
“I once told a guy at a party that his personality was so disgusting it made me want to vomit. He didn’t believe me and continued to hit on me. So I voluntarily vomited on him just to get my point across.”
“This guy at the coffee shop wouldn’t stop asking me for my number so I just ripped a big fart as loud as I could. He left when he smelled it!”
“I went on a date to the beach with this guy and he invited me to his house. We ate some food and afterwards he kissed me. It made me a little uncomfortable so I told him I had to go and that I had plans. He tried to convince me to stay, and then said that I couldn’t leave until I said I would be his girlfriend. Red flags are going off and so I tried to keep the mood very light and started to gather my things while saying things like, ‘Oh, you really like me hey? That’s sweet…’ I went to leave and suddenly he’s in front of me, grabbing my wrists and asking me to be his girlfriend. Yeah, OK bud, whatever you say. I’m your girlfriend now. Unfortunately, he drove, so I told him my parents lived nearby (not true) and I would just walk there. I really didn’t want him to know where I lived at this point. He follows me out into the street, offering me a ride, trying to hold my hand and walk me home. So I just bolt. I broke a flip-flop that day. I think he followed me for a while but I got far enough ahead of him. It was about two-hour walk home so I think eventually he just gave up. It started raining on the way. I remember being in my bathing suit and a dress, holding my shoes, running in the rain and laughing about how much I’d rather be there on the side of the road than in that guy’s house for one more minute.
We’ve been dating ever since!
(JK, I broke up with him over text message when I got home. Apparently, it’s not so easy to force someone to be your girlfriend.)”
“Faked being deaf. Turns out disabilities make a ton of guys uncomfortable. Learned that tip from my deaf cousins.”
“Some asshole who thought I was in love with him (I wasn’t) and that I was only dating my then-boyfriend for money (I wasn’t) leaked my Kik account on 4chan.
As one might expect, I was harassed for nudes by several guys so I did what any sane person would do; I changed my profile picture into a picture of a Korean musician and pretended to be a gay 14-year-old Korean boy. It actually worked.”
“He discovered I was a girl in World of Warcraft. He immediately tried to join my guild (denied!) and then asked me to marry him several times. He kept sending me random crap from his inventory (because copper ore just screams ‘take me now’) with the awkward love poems only a basement-dwelling troglodyte can come up with. Again, we’d never spoken. But he wanted to marry me. So like a wise and intelligent person, I gave him my phone number.
He texted me his dick. I responded with pictures of dog/cat assholes with arrows pointing right at the crusty poopholes. Those arrows were labeled with his name. This was the only communication I ever sent him. No words. Just assholes. He gave up after about three days.”
“Ooooh oooohh oooohh I got one, I got one! Had to fake being admitted to a psych ward. Also before this was fake drug overdose and fake anorexia which also led me to ‘being admitted,’ so no contact. He finally quit the death threats, though.”
I had a guy who wouldn’t leave me alone at a San Diego trolley station. It was late at night and I was 17 and alone. I walked up to the biggest, scariest looking guy there and pretended like he was my friend. I even gave him a huge hug. Luckily, he immediately understood what was happening and played along with it. After about two minutes of me talking to the big dude, the creepy stalker guy left. I thanked the big dude profusely and he was super cool about it. He said I wasn’t the first girl he’s had to play along with in order to scare off a creeper.
“To be honest, dudes like this are…kind of afraid of me. I don’t act nice at all, if a guy does anything, I mean anything creepy towards me I just flip out. I threw a rock at a dude’s car who catcalled me once and sprinted toward a kid who grabbed my ass in high school, ready to deck him in the face.
And they always, like clockwork, get scared. High school kid ran off, and the dude in the car just kind of whined and then drove off. Men like this aren’t expecting you to fight back, just to politely nod and put up with it. So when you go all axe-crazy, it scares the shit out of them.”
“Once this boy cornered me at school and had his friends surround me so I couldn’t run away. He kept grabbing me and calling me his blow-up doll, stuff like that.
Anyway. I told my dad about it, and he showed up to the kid’s house in full uniform—he was a State Trooper—and had a ‘talk’ with the kid and his dad about it.
The next day, the kid apologized to me repeatedly and told me he’d only done it because I’m so very beautiful. He promised to never ever, ever talk to me again—and he kept his word. All those years we lived in the same tiny town and he avoided me like the plague.”
“I usually lie about my line of work. Like if they boast about illegal shit I casually mention I’m a lawyer; or if they look like the kinda motorhead who drinks douche for breakfast, then…
bro: ‘Hey sweetie, (ugh and it’s always sweetie) what kinda work you do? Let me pick you up from work sometime.’
me: ‘That’s great. I actually work in septic tank repair because they need small bodies to get through the pipes. Your car might smell like shit though, hope you don’t mind?’
“I live in the edge of a bad neighborhood and one night as I was walking my dogs I see this guy start to walk up on me—fast. At first I thought maybe he was a jogger, but he was in regular clothes. So as he gets up right behind me I turn to confront him and start barking and snarling like a mad dog at him until he was scared enough to cross to the other side of the street.
My theory: Out-crazy the crazies. Works every time.”
“Smash his face into a car next to us. For your brief backstory, he popped out of nowhere at 3AM at Walmart as I was trying to get back into my car. He tried to touch me and God knows what else. I was very very lucky I was able to push him into the other car and he turned. Grabbed the back of his greasy hair and slammed once good before I got in my car and bolted.”
“After me and my ex broke up he stalked me for two years. He would text me every so often and I would be polite and ask him how he was, then he would start to insult me when I didn’t want to hang out with him. (He cheated on me with another girl.) After getting sick of his random text messages I pretended that it wasn’t my number. When he messaged me I said, ‘Who is this?’ and he was like, ‘You know who it is.’ I replied with, ‘I just got this number and guys are constantly texting it for this chick named—’ my ex apologized and I never heard from him again.”
“We lived a town away from each other in a very rural area, so if I heard he was coming into (my) town from friends, I would call my friend who was old enough to drive and have her pick me up. Driving country roads was the only way he wouldn’t ‘bump’ into me. He would also stop by my house and when my parents told him that I wasn’t there, he would camp out in his car waiting for me to come home. I learned quickly that it usually took a couple of hours before he would give up and leave town. This happened a few times a week for a couple of months.”
“Semi-recently, I was at a 24-hour restaurant by myself around 9 or 10 PM. It was the kind of place that had counters with barstools and free Wi-Fi, with a mix of locals and travelers. At one point I felt…watched…and I looked up to see a man staring and smiling at me. I thought maybe I had met him somewhere, so I gave a quick polite smile and re-submerged myself in Reddit and my cheap meal. An hour and a half later, my phone battery died and I paid up and left.
Well, he was there, in the parking lot, waiting for me, smiling and waving from his truck and motioning for me to come over. I was shocked and froze mid-step for a couple seconds, but then nervously shook my head no and turned away to unlock my car door. I heard the truck engine start saw the bright beams of headlights flash on behind me as I quickly hopped in my car—no fiddling with music playlists or air conditioning—and sped out of there. I thought I’d made it clear I wasn’t interested, but when I saw a truck speeding along just behind me, I switched lanes just in case (even then thinking I must be paranoid, there were plenty of truckers on the road that night, it probably wasn’t him). The truck also switched lanes, all the while getting closer. I frantically swerved back to the other lane. So did the truck. By this time he was right behind me, flashing his brights while smiling and jovially waving for me to pull over. He chased me all over the road through town until I turned at full speed without signaling or braking and skidded sideways down a side road, darted into a random driveway, turned off the car, and hid crying and shaking for half an hour until I was sure he was gone.”