Parenting is hard. I don't even have a child yet and I can testify that parenting is one of the toughest things that people have to do on this planet. You're not only responsible for keeping another human alive by feeding them, bathing them, and making sure that they get enough sleep, you also have to teach them to walk, talk, count, read, tie their shoes, and (if they're really smart) calculus. And no one wants to teach their kid calculus.
On top of all that you have to remember to actually feed yourself too, keep a house clean, work or study, and attempt to have a life. When you think about it, being a parent is basically both the best and worst thing ever, so you definitely deserve that glass of wine once the kids go to sleep. Or 4 of them.
What I thought I would say as a parent:— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) February 2, 2017
"You are going to change the world."
What I say as a parent:
"Stop licking the window."
Pediatrician: They're only getting two hours of screen time a day, right?— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) May 5, 2017
Me: HAHAHAHA! I mean, yes.
I’m inventing a swaddle blanket for like 5 year olds. It’s basically a straight jacket, but with a friendly name like “The Tantrum Hug.”— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) January 15, 2018
I spent 20 minutes, 20. Fucking. Minutes. Convincing my kid to wear a coat, but yeah, congrats on your pregnancy.— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) October 25, 2017
We were in church and I pulled my toddler’s hand out of his pants and he screamed “I WAS MAKING MY PENIS BIG” and now I need a new church.— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) December 15, 2017
I hate it when I go to hide out from my kids in the walk-in closet & my husband is already in there hiding out from me.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 22, 2014
The 4 yr old is wandering the house in a life jacket, crying b/c it's clipped. He also cried when I unclipped it.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 18, 2017
We don't even own a boat.
Becoming a parent is like playing a video game where you've skipped the tutorial & you're just running about with no idea how anything works— Jack's Dad (@DaddingAround) March 21, 2017